Thursday, August 28, 2014

What I Need to Stop Doing

I'm terrible at saying, "no." My husband will be the first to tell you that I'm a "yes" person. My mom is the exact same way. 

"Oh, you need a volunteer for this Friday? I'm right on top of that, Rose!" "You need me to stay late to help you finish a project you didn't start until this morning. Yeah, I'll do it." 

It's awful. I get angry or frustrated at myself and/or the situation when I am the one who created it by saying, "yes."

And with all my "yes" responses come sacrifices I have to make personally, whether personally at home with my family or personally at work. Things - or my family - suffer in the process. I'm stressed, I miss out on time with my family and in general, I feel overworked, overtired and extra stressed.

So, one thing I'm really working hard on this school year is saying "no." But the biggest, hardest part, is being okay with saying "no." I have the problem of telling someone I can't do something or can't go somewhere, but then I have that pang of guilt that follows me while I reflect on how they must feel that I said no. I worry what they think of me, what they are saying because I didn't say "yes," what they will say to me the next time they see me. Isn't that the worst? 

So, along with saying no, I need to start being okay with saying it. 

Something else I need to stop doing is saying "sorry." Of course, I don't mean when an "I'm sorry" is truly needed. No. I mean saying "I'm sorry" for things I am not sorry for or shouldn't be sorry for. 

For example, I didn't answer someone's phone call the other day because I was in the bathroom. I called them back, they said "Hello," and the first thing out of my mouth was, "I'm sorry! I was in the bathroom." Or, I went to my doctor and I started crying when she asked me about something. The first thing I said? "I'm sorry I'm crying. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cry." She looked at me, patted my shoulder and said, "Stop saying you're sorry. You don't have to be sorry. You have no reason to be sorry." 

Why do I always feel like I have to say, "I'm sorry?" I'm not sorry. Quite the opposite, in fact. But I feel like I should say it for some reason. So I'm working on not saying "I'm sorry" in addition to being okay with saying "no." 

It's a work in progress, but I'll get there...I hope. And I'm not sorry! 

1 comment

  1. Ahhh, I completely relate to all of what you wrote! I am the exact same way both with saying no and saying I'm sorry when I don't need to be doing so. They are both hard habits to break.


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