Thursday, April 12, 2012

What I'm Not.

Many of you know me. Heck, you can read my "About Me" sidebar and get a little glimpse.

But now I'm going to tell you what I'm not.

I'm not June Cleaver.
I don't make my pie crust from scratch, I don't bake, I don't vacuum in pearls and we eat on our couches with the coffee table as our dinner table.

While I do cook like June, and clean like her, too {albeit not in pearls}, I've come to accept that it's okay for me to not be the "perfect" wife.

I'm not a girl that sews, knits or crochets.

In fact, I can't even sew on a button. Am I ashamed? A little bit. But hey, that's what alterations stores are for.  

I'm not a good driver.

I have road rage. I leave notes on people's cars that say, "Learn how to park!" when they park too close to me in the parking garage. Sorry if that was you.

I am not a crafter. Nor do I have time to be a crafter.

Sure, I have an entire pinboard on Pinterest dedicated to "DIY + Crafts," but I've only completed about two of the 500 I currently have "pinned"...and Brandon helped me with all of them.

I don't make my own gifts, I don't make my own cards, and I certainly don't make my own Christmas decorations.

I think the craftiest I've been in that department is printing out a sign that said, "BELIEVE," threading it with ribbon and hanging it on our mantle. Oh, and I put candy hearts in a jar and stuck a candle in there for Valentine's Day. And I write "Happy Spring!" on my chalkboard in my kitchen. That's about as crafty as you'll see me get. If I see it, I can do it, but I'm not creative enough to think of it by myself.

I buy my cards from CVS {they get thrown away anyway}, I buy my gifts at the mall, and I buy Christmas decorations on sale at Target in January.

Maybe when we have children I'll get more crafty. But for now, nuh-uh.

I'm not a fake. What you see is what you get. I tell you what I'm thinking {I like to say that "you were thinking it, I just said it"}.

My number one pet peeve is people who try to be something they're not. And I've come to the age where I purposefully chose to not be around people that are that way.

I'm not a mathematician.

I can't add, muliply, divide or subtract in my head. I can't tell you when the trains will collide if they're both going 70 mph and left the station five minutes apart.

I don't balance my checkbook, I have to ask my husband measurement conversions when cooking and I pay someone to do our taxes.

I'm not a Democrat.

I could go on and on about this, but I'll leave you with the words of my favorite President, Ronald Reagan:

"Government doesn't solve problems. It subsizides them."

I'm not a brand-name fiend, nor can I afford to be.

If I see something at Target that's cute, I'll buy it. I have fake Chanel sunglasses that my Mom brought back from New York City and I wear them with pride. I drive a Honda. I always go to the back of a store first to see what's on sale; I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I bought something that wasn't on sale.

I wasn't raised to be that way, and I don't think I could ever change.

I'm not one of those women whose ovaries catch on fire every time they hold a child.

Sure, I want children, but I want them when we're ready. It's not a race, and it's something that's on our radar in the next couple of years. I want to slap people who say to me, "Hey, when are y'all going to have kids?" the second I pick up a friend's baby. I feel like that's a very personal question. You could be asking that to someone who's been trying to have children, but can't. Or to someone that just had a miscarriage. They'll share with you their plans if they want to.

On the other hand, I get very offended at people who scoff at me when I say, "Oh, we'll try in the next couple of years." I had someone say to me, "You're soooooooooo young. Enjoy life!"

I responded to her, "Well, we're on a very different path than you. We got married at 23 and 24, and by the time we've been married for five years, I'll be 28. So, I think we'll have children when we're ready. But thanks for your concern."

I'm not a rail-thin model.

Sure, I'm thin, but I give thanks to the Lord above and my Dad's genes for that!

I love to eat, love to drink wine and while I wish I was teeny-tiny, I just am not. I'm a major advocate for being healthy and eating right, but I also know that each body is different.

I laugh at Kate Moss' quote, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

Sister, have you ever had fried chicken? Or shrimp and grits? Or creme brulee? That tastes much better than feeling skinny.

Happy Thursday, y'all!

{Photos via Google, We Heart It and Pinterest}


  1. Great post. I'm glad that you keep it real! :)

  2. Best blog post I've read in a long time!! AMEN!! And for the record? I think you're adorable and fun just the way you are!

  3. I love reading your blogs. They are just what I need to hear sometimes!!!


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